Expanding the Meanings of Morality – A queer analysis of wave to earth’s ‘heaven and hell’ and Conan Gray’s ‘Found Heaven’

wave to earth recently released ‘heaven and hell,’ a poignant song with a very emotional and bold message. While the song has multiple interpretations, I see it as a critique of the rigid, binary rules that many impose on others in the name of religion. Upon watching the music video and listening deeply to the song, it featured distinctly queer undertones, and I found it speaking a similar message as Conan Gray’s song ‘Found Heaven’ (which I have reviewed here). In this post, I’ll examine both religious weaponisation of morality and its suppression of queer identities in my comparison of wave to earth and Conan’s songs! 

Both songs are stylistically completely different. Conan takes on this theme openly, boldly and virtuosically in his song. He very explicitly speaks out his critique of religion being used as a weapon against queer people, the forcefulness of his message stemming from his own experience as a queer person. Meanwhile, wave to earth’s take is more contemplative, emotional and vulnerable, given that they speak from the position of being religious Christians themselves. Thus, they more cautiously examine their reservations with their religion, considering how to reconcile these questions with their own faith. 

wave to earth open by questioning the weaponisation of religion. 

 “Do you need to judge
When your life is down
You call it your conviction
Well is that your honest answer?”

The first line has also been interpreted as “Do you need a church?” Both lines suggest that many approach religion by doling out constant critique of others and their lives, justifying it through the lens of being devout, moral and pure. From a queer lens, this song could direct these questions at those who critique queer people’s very real and valid experience of love, shaming them and making them feel as though they do not deserve to exist for it, calling them sinful, immoral and impure. All the while, they use religion – something tender, abstract and personal – as a weapon to deal out hatred and judgement towards others. When the first line is interpreted as “Do you need a church,” then, it turns on these people, wondering if being religious and going to church suddenly absolves them of the cruelty they constantly express in the name of religion. In this verse, “conviction” could mean the strength of faith these people claim to have – these people are allowed to judge others, to decide who deserves to exist and who deserves to go to hell, simply because they claim to practice their religion more fervently, to be more devout, and more moral than any others. However, Daniel questions this “conviction,” this focus on morality as purely black and white and not nuanced and filled with grey areas. He examines whether devotion and faith are really a justification for constantly making others feel less and out of place. 

Conan, contrastingly, touches more explicitly on the experience of being judged, of having religion used as a weapon against you. He describes his experience of leaving behind an abusive family who rejects his identity – “your heart is breaking as you leave that door/you never meant to start this holy war/but you’re trapped/pack your bags/don’t look back.” He describes his tension with his family as a “holy war,” suggesting that they have often weaponised religion to invalidate his identity as a queer person, which has left him “trapped” in their home. He also describes the results of being told he is impure and sinful due to religion – “You’ll never get your mama’s wedding ring/Father always said you ruined everything/But you prayed, begged and prayed/Heart unchanged.” Conan sees how he disappoints his family by going against societal expectations of love, so he prays. He’s told that he is simply not religious enough, and if he prays more, he will then change into an acceptable version of himself. This is similar to the second verse of ‘heaven and hell,’ which asks, “You just need commitment/But why doesn’t it feel like the answer?” Queer people are told to just be more religious, to pray that God will change their queerness and wash it away so that they are more ‘morally pure’ versions of themselves. However, this is often to no avail – Conan finds that no matter how much he prays, his “heart [is] unchanged,” while wave to earth wonder that this “commitment” to religion “doesn’t feel like the answer.” Both songs examine this forceful behaviour around religion – Conan shows how his family’s constant critique of him in the name of religion creates a deep sense of self-hatred that eventually drives him away from them. Meanwhile, wave to earth question religion’s often binary visions of morality that sort people into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on every action and choice, forever touting only their own bull-headed conviction and devotion as the answer to complex questions around identity and morality.

wave to earth further emphasise throughout their song: “Heaven and hell/It’s not all about it.” They turn on this black-and-white thinking, expressing that people are not inherently good or bad, such that they can be simply sorted into heaven and hell. To them, there’s more to life than measuring every action by its morality. Conan similarly rejects the dominant understanding of religion in his song – in the chorus, he includes the lines “There’s a God in the sky/Don’t believe Him/ Don’t believe him, gods do love you now.” What Conan says here sounds contradictory – he means not to believe in the “God in the sky,” who is placed on a pedestal by humans, who is imbued with all sorts of qualities and expectations that make Him judge those who love differently, who live differently. However, Conan suggests with the following line that there is some other God, untouched by human expectation, that truly loves each and every human exactly as they are. Thus, both Conan and wave to earth examine a different approach to religion that allows for reconciling queer identities – one that does not place divisive expectations onto God and does not assume that He judges us solely as moral or immoral. 

wave to earth expand on this in the bridge:

“Be alive, you are holding the answer
Like a child, purity is the way
Live a life as if you’re in heaven.”

The second line stings a little at first because it seems to lean right back into what morality-obsessed religious people say – that one must always be pure, moral, untainted, perfect, never do anything ‘sinful.’ However, it’s possible that purity here does not mean perfection and morality, but rather, authenticity, truth and a lack of pretension. They suggest that ‘purity’ is the answer because leaning into queer identity and desire, committing to being yourself in spite of people’s questions and judgments, is what is actually freeing. In so saying, they accept that queer people are also ‘pure’ – they have not done anything sacrilegious by simply existing. Further, calling this purity childlike suggests the freedom, playfulness and relaxation we had as children, the lack of care for the judgements that society would place on us – qualities that make our lives vibrant and enjoyable. It is a beautiful reconciliation to liken this acceptance of queer identity to childlike innocence and purity when queer people are often considered to be too ‘sexual’ or ‘mature’ and thus unsafe for children, reducing their identities entirely to their sexualities. Similarly, Conan sings a comforting line that appeals to childhood and innocence in the chorus of his song – “Don’t be scared, little child, you’re no demon,” and he ends it with, “Don’t be scared, little child, of that feeling/You’re in love/You’ve found heaven.” He also appeals to the innocence and purity of a child, who is authentic, and free from confines. Before this child is corrupted by societal expectations, he reminds them that their identity as a queer person does not make them ‘demonic’ or deserving of hell. He also urges himself and others like him to not fear queer love and desire – to lean into their version of love and their identities, as this will make their lives feel like they’ve “found heaven.” wave to earth end with a similar thought – “Life a life as if you’re in heaven.” They suggest leaning so authentically into your identity that it feels like you are spending every day in your ideal world, in your paradise. To them, simply being authentic and living your life in a way that is true to you is what is truly good and heavenly, rather than this endless evaluation of your own morality. Thus, both songs question and critique the dominant expression of religion and its obsession with judgment, morality and critique. However, they reconcile this understanding that true faith and devotion come with expressing yourself and living out your identity as authentically as possible – there will always be those, including God, who accept you exactly as you are for it. 

I want to end on the main differences between these songs, which is in their sound and structure. Conan opens ‘Found Heaven’ with a religious choir that sings “No God above us/Can we repent this sin/No soul is innocent/Everybody wants to love.” He opens the song seemingly in a religious setting but simultaneously rejects the religion that confines him and diminishes his identity. The rest of the song then swells into retro, 80s-style instrumentals with prominent synths and drums, as though protesting these confines and speaking his identity loudly over the noise that has made him feel small and shrink himself all his life. In contrast, wave to earth’s composition of this track completely diverges from all their previous works. They start with a mellow tone through the song, which features an acoustic guitar instead of Daniel’s usual electric guitar, and the song features no acoustic drums, highlighting the vulnerability of the questions they ask in this song and the uncertainty that comes with finding yourself misaligned with the usual comfort and solace that comes from religion, finding that it often seems to put you down. At the bridge, a synthetic-sounding, eerie backing vocal accompanies Daniel as he sings “Be alive, you are holding the answer.” In ‘Found Heaven,’ too, the backing vocals on the chorus that sing “don’t believe him, gods do love you now,” similarly feature this distorted, eerie quality, where what they sing is almost completely unintelligible. In both songs, then, arriving at this answer of authenticity and acceptance of one’s own identity feels blasphemous and sacrilegious – it feels wrong amongst the noise of constantly being told you’re simply not faithful enough, not moral enough, and it’s you who must change your inherent identity for God, rather than God who must accept you as He created you. However, the bridge then transitions into the final chorus of Daniel singing “heaven and hell.” Here, he is joined by a harmonious chorus and what sounds like a church organ – the sound here is incredibly sacred and evokes a very holy setting. It suggests, then, that as Daniel accepts himself and his identity, he in fact attains true holiness when he learns to live his life authentically. Thus, while Conan opens with religion and then largely rejects it through his song, seeking an alternate conception of a God that accepts queer identity, wave to earth examine their questions about religion and then arrive at an answer that fits their faith – purity as authenticity and unfiltered truth and reality. 

Before I conclude, I really would like to appreciate John Cha’s lyricism on this work. He honestly seems to operate in much the opposite way of Daniel when writing lyrics – where Daniel’s English lyricism is poetic and flowery, John’s is grounded and puts its message forth plainly. Meanwhile, Daniel’s Korean lyricism features this straightforward, open quality, while John’s is far more poetic and stylistic! It gives both members a distinctive and unique style. Additionally, putting forth my interpretation of ‘heaven and hell,’ bringing it together with a song by another of my favourite artists, was very enjoyable. However, I want to honour John’s original intention with the song, which is to critique absolutism and the lack of acceptance that many religious people have for those who do not follow the same religion. Further, he, as a Christian, has begun to examine morality and the conception of the ‘good’ beyond absolutist heaven and hell dichotomies upon uniting with his wife, who is a Buddhist. Having been raised Hindu, I always find it interesting in this way to contrast how Abrahamic and Oriental religions tend to view morality differently – where the former often sees it as black-and-white, the latter (in their uncorrupted forms) see it to be more complex. In Hinduism, for instance, the conception of the Dasha Avatar, wherein the god Vishnu is re-born in a new form in each age of the world to come forth and bring back the reign of peace and good, shows that ‘the good’ is a fluid concept – and the means needed to achieve it changes constantly depending on social context and the problem at hand and does not ever have a clear-cut answer. It is beautiful to see these two ideas come together in many Christians’ conception of religion, where they re-interpret their scriptures to be more inclusive, accepting and cognizant of the complex and nuanced times that we live in. As always, wave to earth infuse their lyrics with so much meaning and beauty, and it is so beautiful to see them take on a heavier theme with such a bold message!