Channeling Female Rage Through Music (Women's Month Special)
This Women’s Month, I wanted to write a post about songs expressing female rage. Rage or anger are emotions that women are often told to mask or suppress, and we are expected to be quiet, polite and agreeable. Expressing rage or anger is often seen as ‘unladylike’ and is frowned upon. Women thus don’t often get to express the rage that comes with being oppressed by the patriarchy in so many aspects of our lives. As the world regresses further into oppressive systems that deny women the rights to reproductive care, work and free expression, I think rage is a key emotion women are collectively experiencing this Women’s Month. It is a valid emotion that we should experience and channel into action. And so, let’s dive into some music that helps us express this rage together!
TW: This post contains mentions of grooming, abusive relationships and sexual abuse. If any of these topics trigger you, please refrain from reading further.
Of late, more women are sharing their experiences with grooming or being in relationships with much older or more powerful men who manipulated and exploited them – a common theme within the next few songs that express rage at these older men and the impact of their abuse.
Your Power by Billie Eilish
I start off this post with a song that doesn’t explicitly sound ‘angry,’ and yet I think conveys an interesting sort of rage against powerful men who exploit young girls. Younger women often look up to these men as authority figures or see them as “hero[es].” Meanwhile, the men exploit these women’s admiration of them to get them to do their bidding sexually, romantically and emotionally, often being controlling, manipulative and abusive. Billie’s soft delivery of this song is not calm or composed but rather drips with a cold fury against men in positions of power and greater age. In a world where women are told to dress modestly, not stay out late, not talk to the wrong men, and on and on to avoid being abused or assaulted, Billie turns to the men, sarcastically requesting them to “try not to abuse your power.” Instead of women needing to scrutinise their own every move, it’s now the men’s turn to consider the impacts of every one of their actions.
She demands of them, “How dare you? How could you?,” and coldly expresses the reality – these men do not care for the emotional impact of their controlling, manipulative behaviour or their sexual exploitation of women unless “they [authorities, their employers] find out” or their “contract” is “killed.” She ends the song poignantly, with, “but power isn’t pain.” With this, she guides women to recognise when they are being abused and mistreated – a relationship with someone you love and look up to should not feel painful and scary. She also uses this line to express to men that having power and authority over someone shouldn’t cause pain and distress to them – when it does, it’s simply abuse. Billie sings this song in a quiet fury – the consistent drum beats as the only other instrument accompanying the soft acoustic guitar create a looming sense of doom in her hard-hitting, uncomfortable message to the powerful men she addresses.
vampire by Olivia Rodrigo / Goddess by Laufey
Olivia and Laufey both describe their anger towards specific older men who have exploited them. Both songs start out softly but build up in a crescendo towards the end, mirroring the singers’ growing frustration and rage towards the men they sing about. ‘vampire’ describes an intimate but extremely abusive relationship with a man who leeched off of Olivia like a vampire. She describes that he “only came out at night” – possibly, only sought her out when he needed support; or possibly physically abused her, often secretly or at night. Olivia delves deeper into this person’s abusive nature that isolated her and forced her to believe that everyone warning against him was simply “crazy.” She ends the second verse with “went for me and not her / ‘cause girls your age know better.” Here, she shows how these older men prey on younger women’s innocence and lack of experience with men. Older men find it easier to get their way with these young girls as opposed to older, more mature women who can recognise unhealthy patterns quicker.
‘Goddess,’ on the other hand, describes a more sexually exploitative relationship with an older man. Here, Laufey expresses her own insecurities around being with this man. She wonders if he was “surprised” or “deceived” when her “glamour wore off, reduced to skin and bone.” He seems to be more interested in her fame and the glamour it brings her rather than who she really is. Indeed, she says, “I’m so naive to think you loved me for me.” She further describes how he “made up a version of [her] that [he] thought [he’d] love.” It’s possible that Laufey describes love-bombing – a manipulative tactic where this man showered her with praise and love to coerce her into doing what he wanted, behaving the way he wanted her to, and ultimately allowing him to control her. However, Laufey also emphasises her age (and consequently, maturity) difference with this man and how this played into his manipulation and exploitation of her. He’s “too old to play this game” with her and “still growing up at thirty.” She interestingly seems to suggest that she, at her younger age, is in fact more mature than her older male partner. Unlike Olivia, who admits to not knowing any better and repeatedly describes her relationship with the ‘vampire’ as a “mistake,” Laufey turns the tables on the man she was with. She highlights his immaturity in seeking to exploit a young woman for a somewhat parasocial idea of her fame and glamour that is impossible to be realistic.
Both songs have very poignant endings. ‘vampire’ ends with a bridge full of quick rhythms and a belted chorus, where Olivia seems to fully vent out her hatred and anger at the man she sings about. She describes how he clearly doesn’t have a heart and couldn’t have truly loved anyone for how abusive he was. She almost spits out the words “blood-sucker, fame-fucker” at the end of the song, emphasising how emotionally draining the relationship was for her and how it ruined her career and fame rather than his. Laufey similarly belts out the final bridge – she also vents out her anger at how this man “stole [her] youth” and “killed [her] light.” However, she transitions from considering how her partner felt “deceived” that she wasn’t really a star to emphasising that she’s “not [his] Aphrodite” and then ends with “I’m not your fucking goddess.” Her rage ends with her reclaiming who she is, stating that she was never the star nor the goddess he painted her as, and she would never live up to his unrealistic expectations of her. She ends the song softly with, “I’m no goddess when I’m alone.” With this, she could be showing traces of her insecurity – this man’s unrealistic and manipulative praise that made her into a ‘goddess’ doesn’t exist when she’s alone. However, she could also be reclaiming her identity as herself – when she’s alone, she is bare as she is, ”reduced to skin and bone” without his embellishments and grandiose praise. She is truly herself, away from his expectations.
With ‘vampire,’ Olivia solely expresses her frustration and anger at what she had to experience in her relationship with the ‘vampire.’ She still clearly feels regret for it, mourning her fame, her emotional energy and the person she used to be before him. Laufey does the same with ‘Goddess’; however, she adds an angle of transformation wherein she learns her true, bare self outside of the abusive relationship that defined her youth. Thus, Olivia describes only the man and his impact in her song title ‘vampire,’ showing that she wants to target him specifically in conveying a rage that still consumes her with regret. Meanwhile, Laufey focuses on herself with the title, ‘Goddess.’ With this, she describes both her male companion’s manipulative way of building her up into someone she is not, but also her reclamation of her identity as she truly is – and maybe that’s what makes her a ‘goddess,’ much more than a man’s inflated praise.
Rage, however, is also directed at society. Society, that demands we suppress our rage to seem polite, agreeable and nice. Society, that demands we make do with what we have and never critique its oppressive system. Society, that demands we fit the ever-changing definition of ‘pretty,’ swallow every snide comment and remain ever-smiling, ever-beautiful, ever-compliant women. The next songs express rage at the patriarchy and society as a whole.
‘mad woman’ by Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift’s ‘mad woman’ delves into how female rage is often provoked by oppression and the patriarchy. Yet, as soon as a woman displays the often reasonable reaction of anger to being constantly mistreated by men in her life, her rage is dismissed and stigmatised. In the pre-chorus, Taylor plays on common phrases men say to women – “crazy,” “you seem angry” – which often ignore their very obvious distress or hurt. She then says that being called “crazy” makes her “more crazy,” and being told she “seem[s] angry” when she clearly is only makes her “more angry.” In essence, dismissal or ignorance of her very clearly expressed feelings only fuels those emotions further. The chorus is particularly poignant:
“And there’s nothing like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that”
In the first two lines, Taylor uses ‘mad’ to mean ‘crazy.’ Clearly, the subject of this song dismissing her feelings has caused her to act out to be heard – but others only see her as insane and pity her downfall into madness. In the next two, ‘mad’ is used to mean ‘angry.’ Taylor illustrates how women are conditioned to hide and suppress their anger because it’s not ‘likeable,’ as she expresses above – women must be demure, polite and nice, not angry or crazy. And yet, the very people who dislike this ‘mad woman’ are the ones who pushed her to that kind of anger, that kind of ‘craziness’ by expecting that she never express her irritation and swallow every dismissal and jibe until it does, in fact, drive her crazy internally. This reminds me of Cho Nam-joo’s book, ‘Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982,’ which opens with the pretext that its protagonist, Kim Jiyoung, has gone mad. Throughout the book, though, we discover Jiyoung’s myriad experiences with patriarchal oppression that have governed every stage of her life, feeding into repressed anger, disappointment and grief that clearly explains her alleged ‘madness.’ The very society that drives Jiyoung to madness through its mistreatment of her is quick to label her as ‘crazy.’ Jiyoung is the ‘mad woman’ – she was ‘made like that’ by society.
In the next few lines, Taylor highlights this by saying, they “poke that bear ‘til her claws come out/And [they] find something to wrap [their noose] around.” They provoke her until she bites back in anger (she gets mad – angry), and then chastise her for getting upset and fighting back against constant mistreatment (they call her mad – crazy). In a way, then, ‘mad’ when referring to female rage could mean both angry and crazy, as female rage is often equated with hysteria, insanity and untoward emotional outbursts rather than a reasonable reaction to oppression and dismissal. This song doesn’t express a loud rage, but its minor tones and softer sounds express the bitter, sardonic anger of a woman who did not wish to unleash her ‘madness’ but was driven to it by those who called her a ‘mad woman.’
Mad by Solange (ft. Lil Wayne)
With ‘Mad,’ Solange delves into female rage from the perspective of a black woman, wherein she expresses how she feels restricted in expressing her anger at the structures of both patriarchy and racism. Solange opens the song acknowledging that she’s allowed to be mad – “You got the right to be mad/But when you carry it alone you find it only getting in the way.” She validates female rage, but underscores the importance of expressing and sharing this feeling, showing how it weighs one down when it is bottled up inside.
Lil Wayne also uses his rap throughout the song to express his anger and the importance of letting it out – “Tell em why you mad son/Cause doing it all ain’t enough.” He tries “not to let it build up” and “let it go,” trying to be the bigger person. He also delves into the intersection of classism with his rage – he emphasises he “got a lot to be mad about” and “man about.” Placing these words together further emphasises how female rage is looked down upon, and emotions like anger are considered ‘tough,’ ‘manly’ emotions, wherein being a man is synonymous with being ‘mad.’ He also describes his climb to financial stability and the upper-class status that he achieved on his own. He “didn’t wear a cap and gown,” and yet now is rich with a “mass account.” He knows his appearance doesn’t align with his current financial status and expresses his rage at how various people have taken advantage of him financially throughout his life.
Solange describes the stigmatisation of female rage in the chorus:
“I ran into this girl, she said, ‘Why you always blaming?’”
‘Why you can’t just face it?’ (Be mad, be mad, be mad)
‘Why you always gotta be so mad?’ (Be mad, be mad, be mad)
‘Why you always talking shit, always be complaining?’
‘Why you always gotta be, gotta be so…’ (Be mad, be mad, be mad)
I got a lot to be mad about.”
She emphasises here the stereotype of the ‘angry black woman,’ who is often considered to be too loud, too mad and always ‘complaining’ about something. She outlines the various jibes her oppressors throw at her, suggesting that she’s being negative, should accept the structures that suppress her and stop “complaining” and “blaming” others. However, she intersperses these comments with the repeated “be mad,” showing that her rage, and consequentially, any woman of colour’s rage, at structures that want them to suppress their anger to be not just the perfect woman, but the ideal, agreeable, malleable person of colour, is justified. They should be mad – there’s so much to be mad about. By emphasising that it’s a girl saying these things to her, she emphasises many women’s internalised misogyny. In trying to live up to societal standards of the quiet, demure, polite woman, they also learn to criticise those who don’t live up to these oppressive standards, turning on their fellow women rather than uniting with them in the fight against the patriarchy.
Indeed, Solange then repeatedly asks, “Where’d your love go, baby?” She wonders why this girl is turning on her for being upset at the state of the world rather than being understanding of her as a fellow black woman. Interestingly, Solange suggests that this girl choosing to use her rage to turn on a fellow woman rather than on the patriarchy symbolises a lack of love. While one wouldn’t typically see anger as a symbol of love, Solange suggests that sharing someone’s anger, or at least hearing it out without judgment, is actually a deeply loving act and shows acceptance and validation. Just the way we feel anger for our loved ones when they’re wronged, Solange feels anger for all women (of colour) who are wronged through oppression – because she sees them as her loved ones. It’s thus shocking to her that another woman just like her doesn’t have this same belief, and her only expression of anger is to turn on others like her rather than welcome their feelings and hear them out. Solange is shocked that this woman doesn’t welcome female rage, doesn’t recognise “there’s a lot to be mad about,” as it suggests she doesn’t see other women as her loved ones.
Solange ends the song by twisting the lines of the chorus. She runs into the girl who tells her she’s too loud, too mad and complaining too much again. This time, she tells her,
“I ran into this girl, I said, ‘I’m tired of explaining’
Man, this shit is draining
But I’m not really allowed to be mad.”
Solange expresses that not only is she angry, but she’s also sick and tired of explaining all the reasons she’s angry, especially to people who keep asking her to stop being angry. She spends the whole song trying to convince herself it’s okay to be mad, to express her anger and share it, despite others’ comments. However, at the end, she re-emphasises the expectation of her – she’s “not really allowed to be mad,” as it would mean facing comments like the ones this girl throws at her and feeling doubly drained. She thus describes the strange conundrum of female rage – you can’t win suppressing it, but you can’t win expressing it either.
Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera & Demi Lovato
This song is a chilling shout of women raising their voices against patriarchal expectations. With this song, Christina and Demi rally their fellow women to speak out against the patriarchy. They call on “little girls,” encouraging even the youngest girls to know that they “do not owe [their] bod[ies] and soul[s]” to society. I particularly love the pre-chorus:
“All the youth in the world will not save you from growing older
And all the truth in a girl is too precious to be stolen from her”
Here, the singers focus on how much emphasis society puts on women’s youth. Women are expected to alter their appearance to look younger, maintain a certain body type, ensure their bodies are hairless (oddly, as children often are) – and as their bodies naturally change with age, they are considered to be ‘past their prime.’ They’re expected to continue investing effort, money and time trying to present and look young even when their bodies do not and need not naturally look that way. Thus, the singers explain that no amount of adhering to societal expectations of youthful beauty will stop the natural and beautiful process of aging.
This message is key today, where social media pushes anti-aging content to girls as young as six. These girls try to avoid aging with chemical-rich skincare products that may do more harm than good, all in an attempt to preserve the beauty that they are told will disappear unless they keep up with ever-changing expectations of how young they should look. In connection with this, the next line emphasises that preserving who you are as a woman is far too precious to be lost in bending to societal expectations. Indeed, in the second verse, Demi asks, “Ask yourself/Why it matters/Who it flatters/You’re more than flesh and bones.” Although women are learning to reclaim makeup, dressing up and other beauty treatments in a way that makes them feel empowered, the prevalence of these practices still stems from oppressive expectations around women’s appearance. And in many cases, women who do not enjoy these practices are still expected to perform them, placing a constant focus on appearance that overlooks women’s humanity.
Christina and Demi express their frustration openly in the chorus. Although they worry that the system may never change in their favour, they are determined to “show their strength” and “speak their minds.” Once again, they know they will be attacked by society for resisting [“they’re gonna burn me at the stake”], but their anger [“fire in my veins”] is stronger than their fear of backlash for speaking up. I love how this line mentions the fire of the “stake” to reference the witch-hunting of the 1600s, which forced conformity upon women and killed them for any form of deviance or resistance. This is juxtaposed with the fire within, a desire to break free that is stronger than societal pressures. They end with, “I wasn’t made to fall in line.”
Indeed, the entire song is composed to exude the sound of regimentation and control. The song features the repeated sounds of chains clinking together, almost as though someone restrained by these chains is shaking them and struggling to break free – someone who clearly is not trying to “fall in line” with patriarchal expectations. Similarly, the bridge and outro of the song feature a male voice reciting,
“One, two, three
Right, two, three
Shut your mouth
Stick your ass out for me
March, two, three
One, two, three
Who told you you’re allowed to think?”
The male voice represents the patriarchy that commands women to ‘march’ to the beat of its expectations, to offer up their bodies for male pleasure, to never speak up and have their own personalities. It mirrors the voice of a military commander or prison guard ordering subordinates to follow rules – showing how women are imprisoned and controlled by such patriarchal expectations. Indeed, the patronising and uncouth tone of the male voice instantly inspires female rage. This rage is shown to rise along with Christina and Demi’s vocalisations during the bridge that eventually drown out the commanding male voice. This section of the song thus beautifully expresses resistance to the patriarchy and male oppression. The loud final chorus in a higher key shows the singers breaking free of patriarchal control, further shown in that the sounds of chains are barely heard towards the end of the song.
Nxde by (G)I-DLE
(G)I-DLE, a Korean girl group, and their leader, Jeon Soyeon, have grown to make outspoken feminist statements and challenge patriarchal norms with their songs. With ‘Nxde,’ they dismantle the perception of female bodies, specifically nudity, as being inherently sexual. The sound of the song and its music video resembles a ‘50s-style cabaret, typically a place where women’s bodies were used and perceived sexually, to speak for female bodily autonomy. Additionally, they censor the word ‘nude’ in the song title, and then proceed to repeat it frequently throughout the song, showing that censoring nudity is pointless – we all have bodies because we are human, and they exist as their true form when they are nude, which is not in any way sexual or provocative.
With the first verse, (G)I-DLE describe how women are often stereotyped for their looks. Vocalist Minnie sings, “Hello, my name is Yeppi Yeppi [Korean slang: pretty]/The way I talk is kinda dumb/But I’ve got a sexy, sexy figure.” This shows how women are assumed to be ‘dumb’ if they’re pretty. Also, by introducing herself as “Yeppi Yeppi,” Minnie shows how women are reduced to their looks, and these are made into their entire identity. Soyeon, who ends this verse, challenges the perception of the group as pretty, dumb girls – she states, “A bookworm obsessed with philosophy, a self-made woman/Flabbergasted by this sassy story/The audience booed and shouted/”You tricked me, you’re a liar.” With this, she describes how being reduced to her looks ignores her interests and personality. Yet, when she sets boundaries and asks to be recognised for who she is, she’s told she “tricked” people by charming them. Really, it was they who assumed her attractiveness as an invitation to sexualise her, but they still villainise her for expressing that she isn’t interested in a sexual relationship. Indeed, many conventionally attractive women are told they are “deceiving” people simply for being attractive to men and then expressing disinterest in romance or sex, when often they do not ever show any reciprocation of male advances.
(G)I-DLE reclaim their nudity in the pre-chorus and chorus. They declare that even if they “look tacky” or are “not loved anymore,” they accept that deep down, they’re “nude,” which is their most “beautiful self.” Being a famous K-pop girl group, they are constantly scrutinised for their looks under the industry’s strict beauty standards. Hated for showing too much skin, too little skin, looking too fat, looking too thin, wearing too much makeup, wearing none at all, they decide to accept their bodies as they are. Although they know that revealing their nudity could receive backlash, they do so anyway, determined to accept their natural and most beautiful selves, free of any embellishment and expectation from society.
Soyeon’s rap in the next verse then accepts the spotlight she’s under but rejects the expectations people place on her under it. She says to her audience, “If you were expecting some rated-R show/Oh, I’m sorry, but that’s not what we’re showing.” Once again, this emphasises that a woman’s body is not a sexual invitation to others. She rejects these expectations, suggesting people can “throw their dumb popcorn” if they are disappointed that she doesn’t want to present as a sexual object. The last line of her rap shocked me! It seems to be a critique of the pornography industry, where she states, “Rating is just an inverse of bliss/But my climax, those prejudice make me sick.” She suggests that higher adult ratings on such films only represent male pleasure (“bliss”), and thus, the higher the rating, the less she, or any other woman, would enjoy the intimacy and their climax. She focuses on how pornography creates unrealistic expectations around women’s bodies and sexual experiences, often leading men to disregard what their partners would actually enjoy in the bedroom in favour of their own pleasure. They thus see women as objects to pleasure them rather than people with their own wants, needs and preferences, sexual or otherwise.
(G)I-DLE end this song with an unforgettable bridge:
“Why you think about nude
Cause your view’s so rude
Think outside the box
Speak out
My beautiful nude, my beautiful nude
I’m born nude
The pervert is you.”
Reclaiming nudity as natural and beautiful, they suggest that those who perceive it as sexual have a “rude” view and must change their thinking. The last line is truly amazing – since we’re all born “nude,” it really is our natural state. What isn’t natural, and is perverted, is to perceive revealing skin or nudity as an invitation for a relationship or sexual advances. (G)I-DLE thus critique objectification and sexualisation of women’s bodies through ‘Nxde,’ using meaningful lyrics and imagery to critique patriarchal perceptions of nudity.
Maria by Hwasa
Hwasa’s ‘Maria’ expresses a more exhausted and tired form of female rage. With this song, Hwasa reacts to the tirade of hateful comments and backlash she has received as a K-pop idol. Much of this backlash was extremely misogynistic, critiquing Hwasa for not fitting Korean beauty standards and not being as skinny as other female K-pop idols – thus, her frustration at the hate is also relatable to other women who are repeatedly critiqued for their choices and appearances.
Hwasa begins by saying, “I’ve received so much hate, I’ve got an upset stomach.” Her exact wording in Korean suggests that she physically consumed all the hate speech and negativity. She expresses that negativity and hate have affected her mentally the way bad food affects the stomach. She ends the verse asking, “If you destroy me/Do I become food?” Her wording literally translates to, “Does it give you rice?” She thus plays into the first line – while she feels unfulfilled and sick, consuming all their hate, she wonders whether spewing all this negativity has satiated or benefitted her detractors in any way. Alternatively, by asking if she “becomes food,” she alludes to the unending nature of misogynistic jibes – there’s always something new to hate about a woman. As they break down her confidence, they find more and more things to hate about her, and she becomes “food” for their hatred and negativity.
Hwasa’s tone throughout the song drips with exhaustion and frustration, particularly palpable at the pre-chorus. She “swallowed hatred” and now has “no strength to get mad.” As women are often told to just “suck it up” and “take a joke” when they receive constant criticism and comments, they finally grow exhausted from resisting and have no more energy to express anger. Indeed, she even gives in to the haters at the end of the second verse – “If you really wanna see me cry/Here you go, my tears.” When performing the song, she accompanies this with a nonchalant movement that disgustedly flicks her tears at the audience – since they so desperately want a reaction to their incessant hatred, Hwasa spits one out at them.
Hwasa sings this song to herself – she refers to herself as her English name, ‘Maria,’ hence the title of the song:
“Maria, Maria
I’m saying this for you
It’s a shining night
Don’t torture yourself
Oh Maria,
I’m saying this for you
Why are you trying so hard?
You’re already beautiful.”
Her gentle message to herself also goes out to other women who find themselves constantly critiqued for either being too much or not enough for patriarchal expectations. She requests, “Don’t make your heart dirty/It’s too early to be depraved.” With this, she urges both herself and young women not to lose their hope and kindness to negativity. She urges them not to blame themselves for not living up to unrealistic expectations and for being affected by negative and sexist comments about themselves. She urges them not to drive themselves insane trying to fit into ever-changing expectations and to instead recognise their inherent worth.
Thus, even Hwasa’s exhausted frustration in this song is a solace to women who are critiqued for not fitting into physical or societal standards of what they should be. ‘Maria’ assures that exhaustion and frustration from these structures is natural, but women mustn’t blame themselves or lose their essence to people who are simply trying to bring them down. Hwasa thus provides reassurance and hope through the relatable lens of being burdened and exhausted by negativity.
all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo
This song really resonated with my experience with female rage and kind of inspired me to write this post! Olivia’s upbeat, rock-inspired songs are truly so cathartic to listen to – I love playing them when I need to let out my frustration. ‘all-american bitch’ vents out frustrations at unrealistic societal expectations placed on women. It critiques the patriarchy of American society (although it feels applicable to women just about anywhere). The song opens with a lullaby-like, soft melody before completely switching up into the loud, angry chorus supported by the electric guitar. Thus, Olivia catches listeners off guard with her sudden rage – she appears at first to fit societal expectations of being a polite, soft-spoken woman before she vents out how she truly feels.
Olivia claims she fits into every (often contradictory) expectation of an American woman – “light as a feather/stiff as a board,” “built like a mother and a total machine,” “light as a feather/fresh as the air.” She’s meant to bend to every little expectation but also stick to traditional gender norms. She’s meant to be a mother, care for not just her children, but for the needs of men around her (“I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean”) – but all while placing their needs first, she must be in the spotlight, focus on her career, keep pushing through the relentless expectations of her and meet every single one. But she claims she’s okay with this exhausting system that normalises cruelly exploiting her – “I’m okay with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty.” She doesn’t mind all this – she “makes light” of this darkness and remains optimistic with “sun in [her] motherfuckin’ pocket” all throughout.
And yet, once we get to the chorus, we hear her shout out how she really feels:
“Forgive, then I forget
I know my age and I act like it
Got what you can’t resist
I’m a perfect all-american –”
Although Olivia is clearly angry about the expectations placed on her, she tries her best to move on. She then rejects frequent comments women receive about their age – young women are often told how “young” they are, asked to act either more or less mature based on their demeanour. If they are quiet and soft-spoken, they’re called “mature,” “boring” – if they like having fun, “immature.” If they still enjoy interests from their teenage years, “childish.” Meanwhile, older women are critiqued if they’re unmarried, as if their age makes them less desirable to men (because why would women desire anything else?). Women are also critiqued for simply looking or being older than they seem. Olivia claps back at this – she knows her age, and she acts like it just by being who she is. She rejects comments about how she ‘should’ or ‘must’ behave with respect to her age – she just is. Embracing her authenticity, she states that being the sum of all these contradictory expectations is what makes her “the perfect all-american bitch.” In the first chorus, she shies away from saying the word “bitch,” but then shouts it openly at the end of the second chorus. She reclaims the word “bitch,” traditionally used to belittle women who didn’t align with a man’s expectation or reciprocate their romantic interest.
As the song continues into the bridge, Olivia’s rage at these contradictions builds. She states that she has “perfect all-American lips” and “perfect all-American hips.” She sarcastically uses these words, making herself sound almost like a food product being advertised (“perfect all-American cheese?”). With this, she critiques the objectification of women, who are expected to have perfect bodies, hair and faces, to look like Barbie dolls. The beauty industry similarly sells the idea of being the perfect woman with the perfect look. Thus, it’s telling how Olivia shouts out that she’s the “perfect all-American bitch.” “Bitch” here is jarring besides the glossy, sensational words before it – and thus shows how she hates being reduced to an object or a product to be used. Additionally, she claims her perfection despite completely defying the conventional idea of a “perfect” woman by shouting angrily. And yet, this makes her a “perfect bitch,” although she may not be the “perfect woman.”
I love the next couple of lines – “I don’t get angry when I’m pissed/I’m the eternal optimist/I scream inside to deal with it/Like ah.” Olivia expresses how she bottles up her anger and forces optimism, aligning herself to the expectation of a polite, soft-spoken and “perfect” woman. And yet, her frustration builds up inside as she screams to deal with it – and so she ends the bridge by screaming at the top of her lungs. She can only scream and express this anger to herself, because she needs to align with the “perfect all-american” standard – and it doesn’t include anger and frustration. Sure enough, her scream fades into a soft, childlike tune at the end.
Often, women are expected to be ‘grateful’ for the opportunities they have fought hard to earn, including education, working rights, voting rights and more. They aren’t supposed to express their anger and disappointment at a system that is still very much stacked against them because “at least they can get a job,” “at least they’re diversity hires,” “at least they have some rights.” They are expected to smile and be grateful for what they have, without being allowed to fight for what they do still deserve. With the first line of the outro, “I’m grateful all the time,” then, Olivia critiques this – she sarcastically states how ‘grateful’ she is through all the anger at the system. Her biting anger is seen when she says, “I’m grateful all the fucking time.” Next, she suppresses her anger to fit into the mold of a desirable woman – sexually attractive, kind, and always looking desirable and beautiful, even when sad (“pretty when I cry”).
This song shows, thus, how women are forced to suppress their rage against the contradictory expectations of them. The juxtaposition of rage, a very natural emotion, and the expectation of being perennially polite, smiling and agreeable is shown in the composition of this song. The soft, simplistic melodies against a guitar during the verses showcase the expectations that women should act soft-spoken, agreeable and demure. The loud electric guitar jumping in at the chorus, though, contrasts this to show how women are growing increasingly sick of these expectations and actually wish to express their frustrations openly and loudly. As soon as they express their rage, though, they are often conditioned to hide it and present as the polite versions of themselves that society expects once again – shown in the transition from Olivia’s scream to the soft outro of “I’m grateful all the time.”
This song really resonated with me as a woman in my 20s. While you’re trying to figure out your own life, self and direction, suddenly, people come up with all these expectations that you’re supposed to meet. And when you appear to be meeting them – finishing college, getting a job, learning to love your appearance – they pile their comments and expectations onto you even more. Older people find it okay to repeatedly emphasise your young age, immaturity and inexperience. People think it’s okay to assume you want marriage and children – in a world that has evolved into a precarious landscape, they assume you’re still seeking the age-old American Dream that’s hardly possible anymore. If you’re a quiet woman, they’ll nag you for not speaking up. When you do speak up, you’re told you’re making too big of a deal. It feels like you can never win – every time you just about figure out who you are, someone places their own perception of you onto you, and then you no longer know who you are or even who you should be. And yet you can’t seem to shout it out and scream outside your own room – you need to keep the peace, keep being this “perfect woman.” I love how Olivia expresses rage at societal expectations despite actively trying to fit into them – she speaks to a very relatable female experience.
I really enjoyed writing this post! I’ve been exploring and experiencing female rage a lot more recently, so I thought I’d make a playlist and channel it through music. Writing this also helped me discover new meanings and new music that expresses these feelings. I hope we all get to express our rage and channel it into action. Happy Women’s Day and Women’s Month! I invite everyone to share their favourite female rage songs in the comments too, and I’ll be sure to give them a listen and add them to my playlist!
References
Mad by Solange Lyrics and Analysis
Link to Playlist:
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